Hoe om Valentynsdag in ‘n langafstandverhouding te vier?

Valentynsdag kan ‘n moeilike dag wees vir liefhebbers in ‘n langafstandverhouding '¦

Omdat baie mense vir werk of studie in ander stede en lande reis, is dit nie moontlik om altyd by die persoon te wees vir wie jy lief is nie.

Dit beteken egter nie jy hoef Valentynsdag (of ander vakansiedae) te vier sonder die persoon vir wie jy lief is nie!

Hoekom vier ons Valentynsdag op 14 Februarie?

Valentynsdag word deur sestien lande regoor die wêreld gevier en elke land het sy unieke manier om dit te vier, van wynproesessies tot ‘n nasionale sjokoladedag.

Behalwe om die dag saam met geliefdes deur te bring en hulle met geskenke te oorlaai of wyn te drink, is die ware geskiedenis van Valentynsdag dikwels in duisternis gehul. So waar het die idee vir Valentynsdag vandaan gekom en hoekom vier ons dit?

Valentynsdag in Geskiedenis

Valentynsdag het sy oorsprong ver terug na die dae van die Romeinse Ryk. Een van die vele heilige Valentynse kan opgespoor word na gebeure in 270 nC.

Hierdie spesifieke Sint Valentyn het onder die loep van Rome gestaan vir die uitvoering van huwelikseremonies en die inwyding van die huwelik vir Romeinse soldate, wat verbied is om te trou en vir die bevordering van Christelike waardes wat gedurende hierdie tydperk groot vooroordeel gely het deur die Romeinse kultuur wat steeds aan oortuigings van politesme en nie monotesme nie.

Sint Valentyn is op 14 Februarie 270 nC deur sy Romeinse onderdrukkers onthoof. Daarna, in 496 nC, het Pous Gelasius I die gebeure soos die Fees van Sint Valentyn voltooi.

Die eerste viering van Valentynsdag het in die 11de eeu (die 1200’s) plaasgevind toe die tradisie van hoflike liefde gerealiseer het. Hoflike liefde was die Middeleeuse praktyk van ‘n edele dame wat ‘n hofridder die hof maak.

Dit het begin met Franse troebadoere wat liefdesballades van ridders en hul dames gekomponeer het en so deur die generasies afgewerk het wat verskillende vorme aangeneem het in tradisie totdat ons by vandag se vieringe van Valentynsdag uitkom.

Valentynsdag in Folklore

Valentynsdag het egter nie net in die geskiedenis betrekking nie. Dit is ook algemeen in folklore.

Die Britse tradisie om lekkers, geskenke en kaartjies op Valentynsdag te gee, kom uit Norfolk-folklore van Jack Valentine, wat ‘n gemengde ontvangs het. Hy sou lekkergoed en geskenke aan kinders oorhandig nadat hy aan die agterdeur van hul koshuis geklop het, maar kinders, in die volksverhale, was bang vir hom. H

is legende is ‘n denominasie van die belangrikheid van Valentynsdag terug in Victoriaanse Engeland aangesien dit net so belangrik as Kerstyd beskou is. Hier is toe die Britse tradisie van soet, kaart en geskenkuitruiling gebore uit ‘n dubbelsinnige dog oorlewende volksverhaal.

Nog ‘n volksverhaal ‘n paar honderd kilometer verder in Slowenië het sy wortels in die lente. 14 Februarie is glo die dag wanneer nuwe wortels na vore kom en voëls trou. Op hierdie manier word Valentynsdag voorgestel as die dag waar voortplanting en nuwe lewe voltrek word.

Valentynsdag in Poësie

Gebou op die Slawiese folklore en Franse troebadoere kom Geoffery Chaucer se gedig Parlement van Foules, geskryf in die 14de eeu (die 1500’s). Die gedig handel oor die herdenking van koning Richard II en Anne van Bohemia, nog ‘n voorbeeld van hoflike liefde en as gevolg van die gewildheid van die literêre genre destyds, het die gedig die aktualiteit van die viering van Valentynsdag genspireer.

Met ander woorde, mense het uit die gedig begin neem om tyd saam met geliefdes deur te bring en hul liefde vir mekaar in hul eie huise te vier. Daar het dit in die samelewing begin werk en ‘n tradisie geword.

As jy op hierdie stadium dalk wonder oor die voorkoms van blomme en veral rose as geskenk op Valentynsdag , kan hul oorsprong in Edmund Spencer se Faerie Queen geplaas word. Die 'œrose is rooi, viooltjies is blou'?? gedig is ‘n afwyking van ‘n populêre strofe van Spencer se gedig.

Sedertdien het die gee van rose op Valentynsdag ‘n tradisie op sy eie geword en is dit moontlik een van die meer prominente dade op Valentynsdag.

Afsluiting

Dus, soos jy kan sien, is die rede waarom ons Valentynsdag vier om die tradisie voort te sit om die daad en kuns van liefde te vier, om die opofferings en pogings van ons voorgangers lewendig te hou.

Boonop het hulle liefde gevier in die aangesig van teëspoed en dit is daardie dade wat deur die annale van die geskiedenis onthou en gevier is, of ons dit nou besef of nie. Dit is die waarde wat ons vandag dra deur Valentynsdag te vier.

Nog ‘n rede waarom ons Valentynsdag vier, is ons hou daarvan om geskenke te gee en te ontvang. Dit laat ons en die ontvanger spesiaal voel en die enigste mense met wie ons dit regtig doen, is die mense vir wie ons omgee, wat ‘n tradisie van sy eie maak.

Hoekom moet jy Valentynsdag vier as jy in ‘n langafstandverhouding is?

Valentynsdag is veronderstel om ‘n wonderlike dag vir paartjies te wees. Dit is ‘n dag om jou liefde te vier en ‘n verskoning om jou geliefde met liefde te stort. Dit kan dus moeilik wees as jou maat nie saam met jou daar kan wees nie!

Jy pas nie in by die gekoppelde skare nie, maar jy pas ook nie in by die 'œenkellopende bewusmakingsdag* skare nie. Wat is ‘n langafstand-paartjie om te doen?

Valentynsdag Verhoudingsspanning

Paartjies val dikwels ten prooi aan drie dinge wat hierdie vakansie teleurstellend laat voel: verwagtinge, vergelykings en vergroting .

Dit is te maklik om verwagtinge te hoog te hê vir ‘n enkele aand of om jouself te vergelyk met jou vriend wat op FaceBook plaas oor die super dromerige afspraak waarop hulle gegaan het. Dit kan probleme veroorsaak in selfs die mees stabiele verhoudings. Om te vra hoekom jy nie soos Jane en Bob kan wees nie, gaan nie jou dag beter maak nie, en dit sal ook nie Jane en Bob se dag minder wonderlik maak nie.
Die ander probleem is vergroting. As ‘n paartjie reeds probleme ondervind, kan een of albei mense druk voel om ‘n perfekte dag te hê om daarvoor op te maak, koop ‘n perfekte geskenk. ens. Geen hoeveelheid ongelooflike aandete persoonlik of oor FaceTime kan diep krake in ‘n verhouding regmaak nie – en as die dag nie aan die verwagtinge voldoen nie, kan dit probleme veroorsaak om te vererger.

Die oorweldigende konsensus is om jou maat die hele jaar deur te vier en te waardeer: stuur vir hulle verrassingsblomme in Augustus omdat jy daaraan gedink het.

Dit neem nie net ‘n bietjie van die stres van ‘n enkele dag af nie. maar dit sal jou verhouding op die lang termyn gesonder maak,

Maak Valentynsdag vir jou belangrik

Voordat Valentynsdag aanbreek, kyk na jou verwagtinge (en bly dalk ‘n bietjie weg van sosiale media). Dit is goed as dinge nie presies verloop soos beplan nie. Dit is goed jy is nie iewers op ‘n buitensporige aandete-afspraak nie. Niks hiervan maak jou verhouding minder spesiaal of geldig nie!

Jy kan kies hoe jy dit spandeer. Praat met jou maat en kom op dieselfde bladsy vir wat jy wil doen of nie doen nie.

Kommunikasie, soos altyd, is die sleutel. Trouens, ‘n 2012 USA TODAY-artikel beweer dat die beplanning van Valentynsdag die geheim is om die vakansie in ‘n langafstandverhouding te laat werk .

Net soos enige ander vakansiedag, is Valentynsdag wat jy dit maak, selfs in ‘n langafstandverhouding. Besluit of jy selfs die vakansie wil vier. Baie paartjies besluit om iets spesiaals te doen op ‘n dag van die jaar wat vir hulle spesiale betekenis het, en sommige besluit om die hele ding heeltemal te laat vaar.

As jy wel iets wil doen om te vier, probeer om uit jou normale roetine te breek . Beplan jou videokletsessie rondom ‘n maaltyd wat julle albei sal voorberei (of dalk sal uitspat en hul gunstelingkos laat aflewer). Stuur blomme na hul voorstoep. Stroom daardie fliek wat julle albei wou kyk. Stuur vir hulle ‘n brief deur slakkepos met ‘n sak tee wat jy dink hulle wil hê – die geleenthede is werklik eindeloos, en die internet het baie idees vir jou. As julle albei geniet het wat julle besluit het om te doen, maak dit dalk ‘n tradisie wat julle verander en voortsit wanneer julle op dieselfde plek kan wees.

Ter opsomming, Valentynsdag is moeilik vir paartjies in langafstandverhoudings aangesien hulle unieke uitdagings in die gesig staar, maar dit beteken nie dat jy nie ‘n wonderlike dag kan hê nie! Die punt is net om vir die ander persoon te wys dat jy omgee .

So hoe maak jy hierdie geleentheid iets spesiaals vir jou en jou (LDR) paartjie?

Eerstens moet jy weet wat Valentynsdag vir jou maat beteken :

Is dit ‘n romantiese, unieke en onmisbare viering vir ‘n paartjie?
Of is dit ‘n hiper-kommersiële vakansiedag wat ten alle koste vermy moet word (omdat ons Liefde elke dag moet vier en nie een keer per jaar nie, nie waar nie )?

As jou maat die tweede opsie verkies, beveel ek sterk aan dat jy die 5de punt van hierdie artikel lees.

Andersins is hier verskeie maniere waarop jy Valentynsdag saam met jou geliefde kan vier ten spyte van die afstand tussen julle !

Stap #1: Geskenke!

Dit is reg! Elke viering is nog ‘n geleentheid om ‘n bietjie iets aan jou maat te bied om hulle te herinner hoeveel jy vir hulle omgee.

Maar pasop: Valentynsdag is die dag van liefde en romantiek by uitnemendheid , so foute in smaak en styl word nie toegelaat nie!

Onder die topverkopers van 14 Februarie is daar natuurlik sjokolade, blomme, onderklere en juweliersware.

Niks verhinder jou egter om iets meer oorspronkliks te doen om die perfekte en mees unieke geskenk te vind nie.

Om jou soeke makliker te maak, moet jy jouself hierdie 3 vrae vra:

Watter geskenk, wat ek hulle in die verlede gegee het, het my maat waardeer? Hoekom?

Het my minnaar iets genoem wat hulle graag wil hê of nodig het?

Wat is die missie wat ek wil hê hierdie gawe moet vervul? Dien as ‘n tydlose aandenking? Los ‘n probleem op? My maat vermaak? Om my liefde te wys? Enigiets spesiaals?

As jy nie kan besluit nie, kan jy reg hieronder ‘n paar goeie idees vind wat ek jou sterk aanbeveel om na te gaan :

Wanneer jy op reis is of in ‘n langafstandverhouding is, mis jy alles van die persoon wat jy liefhet tot jou beste vriend. Moet dus nie die krag van die ontvangs van ‘n pakkie van ‘n minnaar onderskat nie!

Stap #2: Aandetetyd!

Valentynsetes is een van die mees intieme dinge wat jy kan doen met die persoon vir wie jy lief is, want Valentynsdag is die perfekte geleentheid vir twee mense om ‘n romantiese aand saam deur te bring, maak nie saak hoe ver hulle is nie .

Inderdaad, afstand kan selfs uitgevee en vergeet word solank jy dubbele pogings aan die atmosfeer doen, alles te danke aan Skype en ‘n bietjie beplanning.

To do this, make an appointment at a specific time on the video chat software you’ll use and make sure that you are both fully ready when the time comes.

By that, I mean that you both agree and take care of the little details that will make this Valentine’s Day magical: candles, evening wear, music, soft lighting, wine bottle, good food, good mood, etc.

All you have to do is enjoy your dinner as if you were in a real romantic restaurant. Et voil!

Step #3: Watch a Romantic Movie Together

Whether it’s at the dinner 'œtable' or after, watching a romantic movie just the two of you can be a great way to spend the evening together.

It’s fun, efficient and easy to organize: you both start the movie at the same time, and enjoy and contemplate each other’s reactions with Skype!

Try to choose a film that you both want to see that is light and casual (romantic comedy, anyone?).

I particularly recommend the Top 5 Best Movies on Long Distance Relationships, ideal to give great vibes and motivation to your couple on such a special day!

Step #4: Raise the temperature with a Strip-Tease

Whether in a funny or sexy way, a webcam striptease is sure to be an unforgettable memory for your couple!

But I can see that coming'¦ You’ve never done a striptease before in your life, right?

It doesn’t matter!

Fortunately, it is possible to learn and practice through a plethora of lessons available on the web as well as on YouTube.

Then, no matter how good the performance is in the end, your partner will appreciate the attention and effort put into providing a truly original experience!

To try at least once.

Afterward, nothing prevents you from going further'¦

Alternative: Spend the evening with your single friends

Finally, if it turns out that for some reason, one of you is unwilling or unable to celebrate Valentine’s Day from a distance, then don’t stay home and mourn. Go out with friends!

Whether it’s singles, those who don’t like Valentine’s Day, those who are separated from their partner or just friends in couples who prefer to spend the evening with you, many are those who don’t feel concerned by all this and just want to have fun.

Enjoy it!

After all, Love should be celebrated every day and there are plenty of opportunities to do so, right?

Other Long Distance Valentine’s Day Ideas

The restaurants are packed with couples sharing a candlelit dinner, the movie theatres are bustling and everyone seems to be coupled up for Valentine’s Day.

This day can be challenging for couples in long-distance relationships, but fear not, if you cannot be with your loved one on Valentine’s Day, then there are plenty of things you can do, even across the distance.

Valentine’s Day Countdown

What could be more romantic than sending your paramour a short note on colorful paper for each day of February, running up to the 14th? These notes are best kept short, you don’t want to run out of things to say!

Make the notes stand out by telling them things you’ve never told them before, intimate things that you feel nervous revealing. Remind them of why they are special to you.

Don’t just go with their eyes are beautiful, really go deep with how you feel and what they mean to you. Then, on Valentine’s Day. follow up with one of these other ideas. It’s a genuine winner!

Skype Movie Date/Dinner

I’m sure many long-distance couples are used to the Skype date, but you can make this extra special for Valentine’s Day. Pick a romantic movie, turn on some fairy lights and have a cozy movie night with your loved one.

You can even take this a step further and cook yourself a nice home-cooked meal (after all self-care is in right now!) to share your experience with your significant other. Adding these few special touches can turn a nightly ritual into a romantic Valentine’s date.

Valentynsdag langafstand verhouding idees

Send your loved one flowers

Just because you can’t physically give a gift to someone on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean that they can’t receive one. If you want to go traditional, then many websites will allow you to send a beautiful bouquet of roses to your sweetheart.

If they are not into roses then you can send them a treat from websites such as Amazon, that even allow your item to be gift wrapped!

Make something handmade/Send a care package

Alternatively, you can add a personal touch and send something handmade. This is very thoughtful and your significant other will likely appreciate the effort you have put in.

Some examples of handmade items include a handmade card, a coupon book of loving deeds, a handmade cuddly toy and much much more. If you have a deck of cards, you can string them together and write something you love about the person on each card.

The limit here is your imagination! If you’re not into arts and crafts then you can send a hamper of items for your loved one. Think about what might comfort them, perhaps a bath bomb or a warm blanket. Anything to remind them that you care goes down an absolute treat!

Invite Friends Over

If you’re acquainted with your significant other’s friendship circle, throw them a surprise party. Contact those friends of your lover and ask them to be around them on Valentine’s Day so they won’t be alone.

It may take a bit of advance organizing but it’s super romantic when someone goes to that much effort and time to rally people around a loved just so they know they are loved on February 14th.

Don’t just assume they are on good terms with everyone on their Facebook friends list, though. Check the waters before you go ahead. The last thing you’ll want to do is invite someone round to your darling’s place when they’re having scuffles.

Get Your S.O.’s Friends To Act

Sometimes, your significant other’s friends will be tied up with their own things, so ask them to do little things on your behalf that won’t take them away from their own lives.

Ask them to slip messages written by you (either posted to them or printed off) and slip them under the door or leave them wherever your lover is going to be. Get them to leave gifts you’ve sent, so your lover will see them and once they open them, know they are from you.

It will make them feel as if you are there, but it will drive them crazy trying to figure out who is dropping off the messages and gifts. When they find out how much effort you put into it. they’ll be deeply touched.

Plan your next meeting/Future Plans

If you absolutely cannot wait to see each other again then Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to talk and dream about any plans. Whilst it is the season for love, you can show how much you care about your long distance lover by looking up your next vacation together or perhaps look at houses in an area you might want to live.

This can be as serious or make-believe as you want! It’s fun to play house and think about what your future could look like.

Play a game together

Whilst we live in the era of the internet, it is so easy to stay connected online. You can have a fun night playing a collaborative game online together. This could be an online board game or anything that you enjoy playing together when you’re not apart.

Playing games can foster strong relationships and it’s a fun casual activity that both of you can enjoy!

Send them a Spotify mixtape (playlist)

There is nothing that says 'œI love you', quite like a curated list of songs that sparks feelings of the other person. Just like in your favorite 80s films you can create a mixtape to share with your significant other.

These days it is very easy to make a Spotify playlist that evokes feelings of love, so you won’t have to record an *actual* tape like in the old days! This will be thoughtful as you can enjoy listening to the songs together.

Surprise Trip

Depending on how far away from your paramour you live, planning a surprise visit on Valentine’s Day is always a sure way to jump-start your lover’s heart.

Just remember that with the distance you don’t have a full picture of your significant other’s life, so try to find out what they are doing in the run-up to Valentine’s Day so you don’t end up sitting on their doorstep while they’re busy at work.

If that’s the case, use the time to plant gifts and messages around their abode so they’ll be even more pleasantly surprised when you pop up.

Celebrate Later?

If you’ve been living apart from your paramour for a time, then it’s an awesome idea to celebrate all the holidays you’ve missed once you’re back together. This may mean holding off a bit but it doesn’t mean you can’t send gifts.

It just means reuniting with your lover will be more special and you can both then make up for the time lost. Better still, make your own holiday, celebrating your own love so it becomes far more special than a simple act of tradition.

Be there for them

If nothing else, be the first voice they hear in the morning and the last thing at night. Just keep in good communication throughout the day and let them know how much you love them.

After all, Valentine’s day is just another day of the year for you when your love is important every single day. You may not even want to do anything on February 14th and postpone the day for when you next see each other.

These ideas may help you get through the distance and show your significant other that distance means so little when someone means so much!

Conclusion

Even though celebrating in a long distance relationship can be complicated, it should not make your Valentine’s Day a day like any other, or even worse than another day.

Instead of being depressed, because you are not together for February 14, you should be happy to have what millions of people are constantly looking for: Love.

Above all, don’t panic if everything isn’t perfect. As they say, it is the effort and the intention that matter.

You will remember more the emotion and the good times than the small details. So don’t worry too much about the gift you send.

Focus especially on the positive atmosphere and all the emotions you want to convey to obtain an unforgettable Valentine’s Day. The rest will follow'¦